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Merilee: Uhhh.. who are you people?

Carlota: I’m Turin’s niece, Carlota; and I happen to be only the best the Philomel genes have to offer! And, this behind me is my Captain!

Merilee: Your captain? Are you two in the military?

Gustavo: Not that kind of captain, I’m the captain of her loins, the captain of her heart.. her captain of love. Also, are you aware that you have a Christmas tree up in the middle of summer?

Turin: FML…